Yeah, it's been pretty bad lately. I recommitted myself to sticking to plan then being moderate on our vacation. I have been stressing so much and had been eating anything I felt like for a few days. I decided if I plan to not to stress about what I was going to eat on our vacation, then I won't gain 20lbs before we even leave. I will avoid the foods that cause distress, like bread, and I won't go out of my way to eat bad things. Cottage meals will probably still be things like hamburgers/steak/hot dogs and salad. Eggs for breakfast. Potatoes don't bother me so I won't stress if I have a seafood chowder or if the only thing at a park that isn't too expensive that won't bother me are fries. If I take the vacation food stress out of it, I may be able to survive these next two weeks.
I am busy freaking about the status of our apartment, getting everything done before we leave, I'm really freaked about our car making it (I'm taking it in Wednesday for an oil change and a look over). I'm worried about making it to everything in time. Finding places we want to go and stay. I'm concerned some big financial crisis will happen in the next week. I'm worried because we keep getting calls from this stupid scam that Mark gave personal information to over the internet, that they may steal his identity and get us in trouble (he's done similar things in the past and *just*does*not*learn*!!!). I'm worried about letting Mark drive since I still don't trust him. ect..ect..ect.................
I want to let it all go. I've also been self medicating with lots of video game playing and obsessive cleaning, along with eating. I need to let my fears and paranoia go. I will have fun. Everything will work out fine. I can't control everything!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
(nope, no less stressed)
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