Yesterday was my birthday. It was a rather depressing day for me. I felt angry all day and I couldn't explain why. Well, at least it's over. I usually don't hate birthdays but it really bothered me yesterday.
I also blew it. I wasn't going to then all the bad feelings and negativity crept in so I justified cheating. I was wrong and sadly, I didn't feel bad doing it. I did after because I knew I could of resisted and I didn't have to give in.
Then last night when I was full of artificial birthday cheer and unable to finish the piece of cake my dad brought because it was making me feel so sick, I made up a no excuses induction plan. I have no excuses not to stick to low carb. I am going to avoid chocolate and artificial sweets. I am going to stick to the meal plan I wrote out and when "I don't feel like it", I have back up plans and food in the freezer. When all else fails, there's always eggs.
I have to.
I seriously need to get back on track because I'm making myself feel worse and worse when I don't eat low carb and one of these times I know it's going to be too hard to get back on track.
I crave energy as I have so much to do and can't get the motivation to do it. I want to feel good and feel good about myself. I'm tired of being so out of place in life, feeling like I don't count and I take up more than my share of resources. I want to keep up with the kids. I don't want to dread going for walks with them because I don't have the energy to keep up because I hurt so much. I want life!! I deserve it and I need to start taking responsibility for myself to give me the things I need and want as no one can do it for me.
So I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm just taking a course of action and doing what I have to.
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