Choo Choo! All Aboard The Weight Loss Train!!

I was down 5lbs at TOPS tonight, whoo hoo!  I'm so happy.  This makes 14.5lbs down for the year of 2016 so far!  I was the best loser for the week and the month!  Go me!!

Well, I'm hanging in.  My emotional life is a mess but obviously I'm still keeping on track.  I'm keeping it really simple for myself while feeding my family and helping Shaylee eat gluten free.  She is feeling so much better and I am so glad.

I am going to start exercising this week.  I introduced a new contest this week at TOPS and it involves exercise.  It's time.  I'm feeling like I have more energy.  I'm not out of breath all the time.  I can run up and down the stairs.  I'm still having heel pain but hopefully I can work through that.  I have started taking magnesium, which I'm hoping will help that and some other things.

Not much else to say, really.

Meal plan yesterday:

Breakfast: xl coffee with 3 cream
Lunch: Tuna, mayo, chopped onions and greens
Supper: Coleslaw, mustard, 2 chicken caprese burgers

Meal plan today:

Breakfast: 2 coffees with cream
Lunch: a few handfuls of green beans, taco meat
Snack: xl coffee with 3 cream
Supper: large cheese tortilla taco, more green beans

Meal Plan Tomorrow (in case I forget to post):

Breakfast: 2 eggs, black coffee (or with cream)
Lunch: Leftover low carb soup
Supper: pork roast, cucumbers

One More On Board

My 11 year old daughter has been having a rough time.  Her stomach bothers her a lot and she often has bathroom issues.  She seems to be very sensitive to certain food so, like me, I feel she could benefit from a paleo type diet.

Yesterday, she woke up with such bad pains and diarrhea, I kept her home.  I told her that we need to change her diet.  Like me, she eats a lot and it has been concerning me.  I had her in TOPS for two years, but it wasn't helping, plus I felt it was hurting her getting weighed each week.

Right now, I want to focus on her health and healing.

Introducing....Paleo!

We're going to go at it slow for her to help her adapt.  Right now, we are just going to remove wheat, then move on to added sugar.  So basically a gluten free diet.  We may find that this is enough.

My ultimate goal is to get the whole family paleo, or even 80/20.  Hubby and my son seem to be able to handle everything fine, but that doesn't mean it can't be better.

Yesterday I made an amazing paleo banana bread  from the PaleOMG site.  I had a nibble but it had no added sugar or flour so it shouldn't affect me.  Dates were the sweetener.  Here is the ingredient list but you can click the link to see the recipe:.

• 6 bananas (brown ones are sweeter)
• 4 dried dates, pitted
• 4 eggs
• ⅓ cup coconut cream concentrate or homemade coconut butter
• 3 heaping tablespoons of coconut flour
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• ¼ teaspoon baking soda
• ¼ teaspoon baking powder
• 1-2 teaspoon cinnamon
• pinch of salt

I actually didn't add cinnamon or vanilla but it still tasted great, probably because I added way more bananas.

For supper we had soup.  She loves my homemade chicken noodle soup, mostly for the noodles.  Well, instead I used longoku vermicelli noodles, made from green beans and peas, and she thought it was just okay.  Hubby and I had curry pork soup with lots of veggies and coconut milk.  I added some peanut butter to mine and it made it amazing!

Now, I know there are lot of things that aren't considered paleo that we eat, like dairy, green beans/peas/peanuts/ect... but I guess that is how I adhere to the 80/20 rule.  For me personally, as long as I don't eat the bad things, like grains and sugar, it works for me.  I'm not ready to give up cheese, sting beans and peanut butter yet.

Today, I feel like I have a ton of energy even though I'm on my period.  It is sunny outside and I feel like taking a walk.  At the very least I should hang some clothes on the line.

Today's Meal Plan:

Breakfast: scrambled eggs (2 with extra egg whites), coffee

Lunch: caprese burger on greens with mayo

Supper: Hamburger patties, salad, cauliflower

February in Like The WInd

Well, even though I said I wouldn't, I hopped on the scale today.  Down 5lbs from Thursday!   Boo ya!!   I knew a whoosh would come.  I should have a good showing at TOPS this week if I keep it up.

As I suspected, I started my period.  Sigh.  I know that's why I didn't lose much.  So bloated but once I start, I usually get back to normal quickly.

My appetite is pretty much nil.  Ketosis in full swing over here.  Yesterday at lunch time I was feeling kind of dizzy and weird.  I didn't have enough time to make lunch so even though I wasn't hungry, I just ate a pork chop and some raw green beans plus lots of water.  After resting a bit, I felt better.  I don't know if it was low blood sugar or low blood pressure but it was a weird feeling.

I also have to remember to drink enough because I'm bad lately for drinking lots of water.  I worry about getting dehydrated.

I keep sitting on the fence about tracking what I'm eating.  I know I probably should but I don't want to stress about it.  As long as I'm eating enough of the things I need.  I haven't thought ahead to today very much but I guess I should figure out what I'm eating.  I'm making two supper options as hubby has chorale tonight and often doesn't like to have a big meal before hand.  I have a pack of pork chops in the fridge we can either have today or tomorrow.  I just want to bake it and enjoy some yummy crispy fat!

Meal Plan:

Breakfast: Bulletproof coffee, two eggs fried in  butter
Lunch: Haddock, spinach, raw green beans
Supper: Baked pork chops, cauliflower, another veg   OR low carb soup (either cauliflower or pork)

Last Weekend in January

Ack, I forgot to write yesterday.  I was just having one of those days.  I thought of blogging once or twice but in the end, I didn't.

On Friday we went to Barrington as we haven't been anywhere in sooo long.  When we got there, it started snowing.  By the time we left, it was a super slick, blinding blizzard.  It took twice as long as normal to get home and I was terrified the whole time.  The roads were so bad and everything was covered in a foot of white, making it hard to see where the road was.  We were glad when we finally got home!

We ended up going to McDonalds for lunch.  Here's my delicious meal:

Yep, my McDouble with onions, pickles, mustard and cheese and a large coffee, three creams (I got a refill but I drank it black).  Try to ignore the Big Mac and fries across the table.  I had to ignore three of them :( .  Even though it wasn't a lot of food, it was enough.  I felt satisfied and while what everyone else was eating looked good, I wasn't tempted.  I didn't even think about sneaking fries until after when I realized I didn't!  Every little victory is a good one.

I have been contemplating posting about my abstinence on Facebook.  See, my mother in law invites us out most Sundays for supper.  Last week we didn't go because we were tired out but she was making ham that was boiled in pop and fruit juices then glazed with more fruit and juices and sugar.  It sounds delicious but that's too much sugar.   I always feel rude not eating when going to someone's house for a meal but I am determined to stick with this.  

I am at a critical stage where I am early into recovery.  It is not just about weight loss but also about breaking the bonds of food addiction and obsession.  To take away the triggers that lead me to binge while maintaining the delicate balance of still having to eat.

Last night I almost had a break down.  Hubby and I were shopping and it seemed like there was literally nothing I could have.  Walking past isles and isles of junk food, packaged foods, snacks, treats, it was almost overwhelming.  I almost started crying in the ice cream isle.  You may wonder what I was doing there but it also has cereal, frozen fruit and breakfast foods.  It just struck me, I may never eat this again and I felt sad.

What I did was turn away and walk out of that isle as quickly as possible.   It's hard because I need to find things for my family to eat and I especially need snacks for my son who doesn't eat enough and  needs the calories.  I ended up getting him a couple of bags of what we call "Death Popcorn" (jalapeno and cheddar) and some corn nuts that are popped, not fried and non-gmo, and huge.  I think he's tired of peanut butter sandwiches and bananas, but it's so hard to find anything he likes.

I really want to get my family on a paleo diet, especially my daughter.  She is so much like me and can't moderate food well. She always looks like she's going to cry or actually does cry when I say something because she is super sensitive (just like me!) but I am going to have to start putting my foot down more.  I don't want her to go through the problems I have had to face, mainly getting to be as big as I was.

Today I'm hoping will be super low key.  I'm tired  It's dreary out.  I already need a nap and it's only 8am, lol!

Since I didn't post yesterday, I'll write what I ate yesterday and what I plan to eat today:

Saturday Meal Plan:

Breakfast: Black coffee, 1/2 cup egg whites

Lunch: Ham and cheese salad with mayo, leftover soup

Supper: Pork chop sprinkled with garlic and parmesean, roasted garlic and red peppers

Sunday Meal Plan:

Breakfast: bulletproof coffee, 1/2 cup egg whites

Lunch: Cauliflower soup

Supper: If home- Loads of Caprese burger, salad, green beans

              If out-?

Big Whoop

Well, despite my hard work and efforts, I was down only half a pound yesterday.

The part of my brain what wants to indulge in my food addiction and binge is saying, "See, it doesn't really matter what you do, you can't lose weight so you may as well eat!"

The part of my brain that wants to get healthy and not eat badly anymore is saying, "It could be any number of things.  Your period is coming, you're retaining water, your body is still adjusting, too much sodium, no exercise, ect...  It could be anything.  Hang in there and you will eventually get the results you are looking for."

So I'm listening to the healthy part :)

Last night, supper was amazing!  I baked 4 little mounds of cheese so they were pliable and used a couple as taco shells.  They were full of holes and my hands were full of grease, but they were delish!!  Definately somethings I would save as a special non cheat Cheat, if that makes sense.  I'm still in the mind set that I want something special after weigh in but from now on, it will be something on my plan only, but not something I would eat every day.

I want to start exercising.  Really, I do.  This week, my left heel has been hurting so much that I can't even step on it at this point without being in agony.  I have been gingerly walking around to do my daily activities but it's getting worse.  I plan to soak and remove all the dead skin later to see if that helps.

I have also woken up twice now with Charlie horses.  I manage to stretch them out but man, they hurt.  I feel like I'm falling apart at 40.

Today I'm starting my turmeric today.  More specifically, I came up with a weird concoction to drink.  I call it Golden Coffee.  See, usually people take a golden tea, the turmeric and other ingredients in a glass of warmed milk.  I have decided to start drinking cashew milk again (1 carb/cup, 25 calories, no weird ingredients) and I will probably use that, but I really wanted coffee.  I added a teaspoon of coconut oil, a pinch of Himalayan sea salt, a little pepper, a teaspoon of turmeric and a cup of coffee.  Blended in the blender, poured into my mug and topped off with cashew milk.  It's....interesting.  Not the worst but you can't even taste the coffee.  I don't even know what it tastes like, lol!  It's.....interesting ;)  I think I'm going to make some golden paste and maybe I'll make a tutorial when I do.

Now, I don't know what I'm eating today.  Yes, I like to plan but we may possibly be going to a neighboring community about an hour away and will be eating out.  I don't know if it will be lunch or supper.  Maybe I'll call it meal A and mean B so I have an idea.  I also don't know where we're eating but I have come up with plans for our options.

Meal Plan:

Breakfast: Golden coffee, maybe some black coffee, some turkey slices with mayo

Meal A (eating out):

• Option 1: Pizza Delight: Quarter chicken dinner with salad bar, water
• Option 2: McDonalds: Bunless McDouble, large coffee with 3 cream
• Option 3: Subway: one of their salads, water

Meal B: Hamburgers and baked green beans

TOPS Day

Well, today is weigh in at TOPS and I don't know why I'm dreading it.  I hate being hung up on the scale.  I wish I could quit but I'm the leader and the group would fall apart because no one is willing to take the responsibility of leadership.  I know I shouldn't let that affect me so much but I can't help but care about these ladies who have been in my life the past two years.

Yes, this week is my two year anniversary in TOPS. My first year won me second place in my division for weight loss for my province.  Then the next  year, I bombed.  Depression, OCD, so much life happening.  I feel like my life is spent being a pillar of support for everyone around me and I wish I had more support for myself.  I long ago stopped lusting after having time to myself because I basically end up doing what I always do.

But I am woman, I am strong.  I can overcome, I can hold up the world while crying silent tears inside.

The scale did go down a bit this morning probably because of my plumbing, lol!  Man, systems are a go with this way of eating.  Number 2's don't even smell bad and pass so easily.  Viva le fat!

I had a lot on my mind yesterday I wanted to write about today but the thing that's staring me in the face is how well I am resisting temptation.  Literally, I can see 4 big bags of chips from where I am sitting and I am not even tempted.

How can this be?  I'm a food addict.  I always thrived on binge eating.  In the past, I would have ate one of those bags all by myself and hid the evidence, but I'm not going to.  Why?  What got me to this point?

Lots of things.  I have decided I finally want this bad enough.  Yes, all the chips and chocolate in the world will never taste as good as conquering my food addiction does.  I tell myself, just one WILL hurt.  I have to break a lot of bad habits, like taking a swig of milk every time I open the fridge or having a few cookies or chips any time there is an open bag.   And the biggest of all, no chocolate.

A year or even a month ago, I would have told anyone they were crazy for ever suggesting a life without chocolate.  Well, I know what it tastes like.  The actual act of eating it lasts no time at all, unless  you're eating a whole box or a family sized bar.  The feeling you get while eating it does not last and I have never been satisfied with the amount of chocolate I ate.  Ever.  The only time I was when I used to snack on raw cacao nibs and that doesn't count because it's not infused with the pleasure center activating fats and sugars, and probably salt too, the dangerous trio of addiction.

I ask myself, do I want this or need it?  Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we really need something when we just want it.  We convince ourselves we will die without it.  That is the addiction talking.

I finally realized the things I needed to so I could move on.  There are things I dread, like eating out and what will I do on vacation, but I will handle it when I get there.  There are always solutions if we are willing to look and be flexible.  I want this to be simple and doable so I can get the addiction under control.

I will post my weigh in deets later.

Supper will be a little treat-ish.  The taco shells are going to be make out of cheese but I know I shouldn't eat too many so I will probably have a couple and taco salad.

Meal Plan:

Breakfast: bulletproof coffee, leftover low carb soup (chicken and sausage)
Lunch: roast pork with greens
Supper: Turkey tacos with cheese shells and salad

Trust The Process

The problem with having a lot of weight to  lose is trusting the process.  It can be hard to be patient, waiting is difficult.

Part of me is fine about how I look, the other is, like, get this weight off me NOW!!  It is frustrating.

Yeah, the scale stayed the same again today.  I know there's a million reasons why, number one is I need to give it time.  My body is doing incredible things inside.  I need to just be patient and not get hung up on the numbers on the scale.  I feel smaller, less bloated, clothes feeling better and that's a good sign!

I need to think of this as a marathon and not a sprint.  I'm in it for the long haul.  I have a broken down metabolism that I need to fix and it won't happen overnight.  I don't want to set myself up for failure in the future by tweaking too hard now.  Clean eating is where it's at.

I'd like to eventually go paleo, but that will be when I am at goal.  I am basically already eating low carb paleo.  Honestly, I'm just trying not to over think things in my daily life and use this blog for all my random thoughts, hahaha!!

Last night the kids had french fries for supper with their hamburgers and I had baked green beans!  I think they would have been amazing if I had allowed them to bake a little longer because the ones that were a little crispy were the best.

I'm sitting here trying to think of what to eat today and it's hard.  I'm tired and while we have many things to eat, I don't know what to have today.  I try to have the biggest meal for when my husband is home and often it is lunch time.  With my son home at lunch, I try to find foods he likes too.

I'm thinking of starting bullet proof coffees again.  I'm not going to go all crazy with the fat, probably just a teaspoon of coconut oil.  We're getting low on butter but I find it's great with just the coconut oil.  It's like a latte even though it is just coffee and fat whirled together.

I also want to start taking turmeric again.  A while back I had what I called my health concoction.  It was turmeric, black pepper (to help the bio-availability of the the turmeric), cinnamon, coconut oil and raw cacao.  It was nice and I know it was helping my health.  I would probably go the golden paste route and have it in cashew or coconut milk.  I'll write more in the future about the amazing things turmeric is good for.

Meal Plan:
Breakfast: 2 eggs, bullet proof coffee
Lunch: fried garlic pork, sauteed spinach, broccoli coleslaw w/mayo
Supper:Left over roast beef au jus, green beans, 1 tbsp cream cheese or some skyr yogurt

Amazing Shop Monday

ok, I had things I was going to write about but I am sooo stoked about my shopping trip that I have to write about that first!

Last week, I posted a shopping trip that cost me $35 and I had a good amount of food, not all of it low carb.  Well, this trip is mostly low carb, cost $35 and there is an amazing amount of food.

Voila:

Boom, that's a lot of meat!!

This was bought at Sobeys and I was practically dancing down the meat isle.  Several things were 99 cents a pound!  Most of the rest was $1,99 and the others were $5.49 a pound.  The flavoured meats were buy one, get the second one half off, so even more savings!

Lemme break it down.

• !.99/lbs:
• 3 mumbai chicken breasts (my favourite for making the kids chicken noodle soup)
• 2 pkgs tangy thai pork chops (I've never had it but it was cheap!)
• 3 packs thin cut pork chop

• 99 cents a pound:
• 2 packs of stewing pork
• 1 pack pork riblets

• Pork tenderloin $2.47
• Tub of Skyr Icelandic yogurt (I heard about this a lot when I used to low carb but it's the first time I've ever seen it in a store)  $2.50
• 1/2 ham, Jamie Oliver humanely raised pork  $3.72
• 3 bags of grated cheddar ($1.50 each!)
• 1lbs bag romaine lettuce  $2.00
• Real mayo $2.99
• Bag of pepperoni $2.99
• 1lbs coffee $1.84 (not the best but good enough when you're poor)

It can be very hard to afford to eat meat so it always makes me happy to come upon a food sale like this.

I started taking CLA yesterday.  I bought a few bottle for 99 cents a few months ago.  I was going to wait until I started exercising to take it but upon reading on some low carb sites, I decided that it would be very beneficial to start now.  I am taking 1 1250mg capsule a day for now of the Tonalin CLA and may decide to take more.  I have two or three bottles of 120 capsules and it's best before next year, but I want to stretch it out.

I stepped on the scale and I was up a little but I know that daily fluctuation is a thing.  I am trying to drink more water, as sometimes that helps and it's a good idea not to get dehydrated.

Yesterday, the cauliflower crust pizza I ate for lunch was soooo filling!  I had a little mayo on the side and I think that really helped the fullness factor.  I couldn't even eat supper, although I had a sausage and sauerkraut before my 8pm cut off time so I wouldn't be starving.

I had made a big pot of chicken broth, so I will use that to make a chicken soup for supper.  

Meal Plan:

Breakfast: black coffee, two eggs fried in butter

Lunch: 2 slices chicken pesto cauliflower crust pizza

Supper: Low carb chicken soup

100 posts

As I opened up my dashboard to get ready to write, I noticed that yesterday's post was my 100th!  Whoo hoo!  Here's to a 100 more (and 100 or more pounds to go along with it ;) ).

Emotional things are escalating in my life and I have a feeling there will be huge changes coming up in my life.  It's not something I feel comfortable talking about here at the moment.  I know I am strong and can get through anything.  It is just hard to accept change.

Yesterday for lunch we had roast beef and Oh em GEE!!  It was good.  I think it was the best beef I've had since we bought a quarter beef from a local farmer.  It is really hard to not keep picking at it but I want to get another meal out of it.  Good meat is so precious when you're poor.

Last night I was lazy and we just ate bacon and eggs for supper.  The kids and I polished off a whole 500g package.  Mind you most of it was fat, which I made use of for breakfast this morning.  Bacon and eggs, a perfect meal that I would never tire of.

Today, we had bacon and eggs for breakfast.  It was turkey bacon so I threw some of the bacon grease in the pan to give it some flavour and taste :) .  I also fried the eggs in it.

Lunch will be pizza and supper, who knows.  I'm thinking about stewing a chicken and making some soup.  We're in the middle of a winter storm and there is nothing like a warm soup to warm you up, plus I would make enough for leftovers through the week.

Yes, I feel really focused on food.  If I don't, who knows what I'll do.  I almost popped some crackers in my mouth by habit, and that is only one instance of many yesterday where I almost fell off the low carb train unintentionally.  It makes me realize how conscientious I have to be about what I eat.  Hence the slight obsession.

I stepped on the scale this morning and I was down another 3lbs.  It is an amazing feeling having the weight melt off me while I'm eating low carb and high fat.  I thought the dairy I was having would be a hindrance.  If it is later on, I'll take it out.  It has only been a week and the weight is flying off.  I know it won't always.  Stalls are inevitable so I will take what I can get for now.  I have tools in my arsenal so I won't fail at this and the biggest one of all is that I'm worth it!!!

Meal Plan:
Breakfast: 3 fried eggs, 2 slices of turkey bacon, coffee with cream (picked at some roast beef, had a tablespoon of the "cream cheese" and a bite of regular cheese)
Lunch: Cauliflower crust pesto chicken pizza
Supper: Chicken soup, low carb style

Lazy Saturday

Ah....I wish I could take a deep breath and all my problems disappear.  It's really hard controlling myself not to eat while going through trials and hard times.  I would really, really love for this to be a lazy Saturday but there is never rest for my mind and emotions.

Yesterday the boiled lunch was very yummy.  I boiled the ham then added the vegetables to cook in the broth.   I added whole potatoes (for the others), whole peeled carrots, a chopped up turnip, a small cabbage and a kohlrabi bulb (for me to have instead of the potato, but it was gross cooked like that).  It was delicious!  I only had a small plate and I couldn't even eat it all.  Here's a pic:

For supper, I made homemade pizza for the kids and I had cauliflower crust pizza.  I made and baked the crusts while I made the bread dough for their crust.  On mine, I smeared a little greek yogurt "cream cheese", some pesto, a cut up loads of caprese chicken burger and topped with some grated cheese.  I baked it long enough to melt the cheese.  Oh wow, it was good.  So tasty and filling!  I have some crusts left so I'm sure I'll make it again soon.

Right now I have the roast beef in the crockpot.  It's been cooking all morning and I just turned it off.  I flipped it over as the top looked a little dry and I wanted it to sit in its juices for a while.  I tasted a bit of the fat and swooned.  It's been so long since having a good piece of beef, it's a real luxury.

I'm starting to go through the hungry all the time stage.  I am quite fatigued but I think that's lack of sleep more than anything.  I'm hoping to get through the first month as it's usually the hardest.  After that, unless you cheat, you have the carbs and sugar out of your system and have adjusted.

Today's meal plan:
Breakfast: coffee (one black, one with cream), 1 hard boiled egg, 1 chicken burger patty slathered with mayo, 2 spoons cream cheese (breakfast and snacks; I was up early)
Lunch: Roast beef, green beans, a little buttercup squash, some sugar snap peas
Supper: Bacon and eggs, raw veggies (baby carrots, celery, sugar snap peas or whatever I pick at)

My Big Loss!

Ready for it...

I lost....

5.25lbs!

Whoo hoo!  I am so excited, I nearly screamed! Actually, I did scream in the car, lol!

 I was late for the meeting so I had to get weighed after so only my recorder knew, but I can't wait until next week and do it again :D

Now, this puts me at 9lbs lost this year.  I think I'm going to reach 10lbs lost before I realize it!

My first instinct was to go and treat myself to something.  I told myself maybe just a coffee with some cream.  I didn't.  I went to Shoppers instead.  I bought some cartons of cream so I can have it at home.  As much as I'm getting used to drinking black coffee, it's way better with cream.  Plus some other groceries that we needed, like milk and tissues.

I am floating on a cloud, I'm so happy!  I'm stoked to keep going.  I CAN do this!

No Need To Be Fresh!

If you can't go fresh, go frozen!

Every time we have a meal (other than breakfast), at least one of our vegetables are frozen.  The cost of frozen doesn't seem to fluctuate a whole lot and in fact, there are often better sales on frozen vegetables than fresh!

I also find that the price of frozen fruit can't be beat in the winter.   I love having bags of frozen berries on hand.  They make for good smoothies and snacking on.  Right now while I am in weight loss mode, I think I am going to chill on the berries, at least until I start exercising more regularly.  At the moment, food is my only weight loss tool and until I get into ketosis and fat burning mode, I want to be cautious.

I also plan to avoid artificial and even natural sweeteners for the time being, including stevia.  In food addiction/binge eating recovery circles, there is a thing called abstinence, where you avoid things that trigger you to over eat.  Well, every time I failed in the past, it was usually due to trying to have low carb desserts, chocolate and other substitutes.  It makes me kind of sad to give up my beloved, precious chocolate among other things, but I know it will be worth it.  It is not something I need.  I think I may also need to give up nuts for a while.  I cannot self control on them, as you'll see in my next paragraph.  If I can keep the mind set that this is for my good, that I am working on healing and nourishing my body instead of abusing it, maybe I can have more success.

I had a little binge last night.  The story is, I'm trying to not eat after 8pm.  I didn't realize it was after 8 when I went to have a snack and I was starving.  I managed to stave it off with water.  I went to bed around 10:30pm and woke up around midnight, famished.  I figured, hey, it's a new day, I can have something.  I had a hard boiled egg, a handful of roast beef deli meat, some peanuts and a tablespoon of peanut butter.  Urg.  It hit the spot but I know I should not have done it.  I should have drank more water and waited to have breakfast, or even just eat a little less.  Once I got going, I couldn't stop.  I guess the stress in my life is catching up to me.  I will try to be better prepared mentally next time.

This morning, I went shopping.  Now, this is what $35 of groceries budget shopping looks like:

I never thought I'd pay $10 for a roast but here we are.  It was $3.99 a pound, the lowest I've seen in a very long time.  It is very rare for us to have beef so it will be a real treat!  I can't wait to put it in the slow cooker, yum yum!

As you may see, this isn't all stuff I'm going to be eating.  The ice cream bars, brittle and fruit are for the rest of the family since they like treats and it is nice to have something once in a while.  The brittle was marked way down and I know hubby wanted to try it.

Here's a break down:

3 x 2kg bags of frozen veggies (2 California, 1 corn, since that's my son's favourite): $3.99 each

2 tubs greek yogurt "cream cheese", one herb and garlic, one "Everything Bagel": 94 cents each

Beef roast: $10.10

3 red peppers: 99 cents

tray of apples, nectarines and a pear: 99 cents

tray of organic lemons and apples: $1.99

Savoy cabbage: 94 cents

half pound grape tomatoes: 99 cents

bags of brittle: $1.32

Ice cream bars: $2.12

Sometimes I do this type of thinking, would this be enough for me, by myself, to eat for a week.  If I were to replace the foods I could not eat with a couple of dozen eggs and some real butter, probably.  For a family, it's not enough.  The only way I can balance our diet with healthy food is to do lots of little shops to pick up deals.

Today I am getting my official weekly weigh in.  My scale is telling me good news but I want to see what it is at the meeting.  I have decided when I hit a 10lbs weight loss for the year, I am going to buy myself a graphics tablet.  I have yet to come up with other weight loss rewards but I think if I hit 100 pounds lost this year, I will finally bite the bullet and get a tattoo.  I have been wanting one for a long time.

Today, being weigh in, has historically been a cheat day since starting TOPS.  At first it meant eating out but as I was trying to save money, it usually meant homemade pizza or some other special meal at home.  Today, I will be home alone for the first time in a long time.  I was telling myself I deserve to eat out, to treat myself.  I've had a pretty crappy week and I've been good on my diet.

Guess what...I realized as I was trying to rationalize this type of bad thinking that I don't deserve to put bad foods in my body.  I will have something special that is tasty and tell myself that it is worth it in the long run to eat well.  I am planning on having a couple of PC brand "Loads of Caprese" chicken burgers.  Boy, they are tasty and I got them for $1.94 for 6 burgers, regular $12.99!  They are gluten free and have 3g carbs, which are from the cheese, seasonings, vegetables and lemon juice in them (1g of sugar).  I plan to cook the whole package and save the extras to heat for quick meals.

Here is today's meal plan:

Breakfast: 2 fried eggs, 1 black coffee, seaweed, some roast beef deli meat (couldn't resist while making my daughter's lunch!)

Lunch: leftover soup

Supper 2 loads of caprese burgers, salad, mayo

Food Prices

One of the biggest reasons I was hesitant to go low carb again is due to the high cost of food.  It is unreal how much food prices have soared due to the crappy Canadian dollar, droughts, shipping costs and whatever other reasons there are.

Every time we eat a meal, I am mentally calculating how much it costs.  Every time I shop, I hunt the bargains.  I am not fussy and will eat whatever.

Our Walmart converted into a Supercenter just before Christmas.  Right now, as much as I hate it, I am finding the most bang for my buck there.  

All the other stores will mark produce down but by the time they do, it's in pretty sad shape.  Walmart will mark them down a couple of days before the date, plus they have a rack of produce in bags that cost only $1 each!  Plus in general, they have pretty decent prices.

I don't always luck out with good deals but I always make sure to check.  Here are yesterday's good buys:

1lbs bag of radishes $0.97

Large clamshell container of organic baby spinach $2.98 (half price)

3 large avocados $1.00

2lbs bag of baby carrots $2.00

Large english cucumber $1.47 (to compare, these are $3.49 at other stores)

Pork rinds $1.97 (probably not a good idea since I ate the whole bag, lol!)

I also popped into Sobeys to pick up hubby since it was stormy out.  I found a few bargains there too.

3 200g bags of Roast Beef  $0.99 (regular $5.49)
3 small packs of stewing pork $1.99/lbs (I will season this with garlic and bake for supper)
Greenfields Ham $3.49/2lbs pack (regular $9.99, all natural, humanely raised)

I am feeling good eating this way.  I am thinking I can do this.  I'm not really having any cravings or feeling lousy but I'm pretty early into it.  My scale was wrong (I had to re-calibrate it) but I am still down.  My official weigh in will be at TOPS tomorrow.

Today's Menu Plan:

Breakfast: 2 fried eggs, black coffee and a few radishes

\Lunch: Leafy greens, can of tuna, mayo, sauerkraut

Supper: Baked garlic pork, string beans with butter, cucumber slices
Snacks: a bag of the roast beef deli meat, 2 hard boiled eggs
Midnight binge: 1 hb egg, more meat, less than 0.25 cup peanuts, heaping tablespoon natural peanut butter, lots of regret, lol!

Before I go, two things.  I will update my menu plan to reflect what I actually eat so I can better keep track of things.  And secondly, sorry for the crappy pictures.  I'm using my not so fancy HTC phone.  I figure this blog is mainly for myself and it's easier to transfer pics from it so unless this blog somehow goes big (which I doubt!), please put up with my crappy pics ;)

Accountability

I have blogs for different aspects of my life that I like to write about. This one I will use for accountability for what I eat. I write a lot about food and recipes in my food blog, as well as shopping but I feel I need a place to put what I eat as I....sigh...try again. The good news is I'm not gaining weight, other than a little day to day fluctuation. I put back the weight I lost when I was really having problems with my OCD and unable to eat, but that was expected.

I am not entirely low carbing. It is more gluten free than anything. I will occasionally have fruit, I will have starchy veggies. I will have natural sugars from time to time (local, raw honey and local maple syrup, in moderation). I will not partake of artificial sugars anymore. I am on the fence about xylitol. I have some but I probably won't buy more. I will not eat glutenous grains (I may still have corn, gf oats and occasionally brown rice. There are some others I am on the fence about.). I will go back to using wonderful coconut flour for any baked or other goodies I wish to make.

In generally, I just want to eat real food. I hate complicating it. I want to follow Nourishing Traditions/Weston A Price/what-have-you. Lots of fat, pastured animals (we have our 1/4 grass fed and finished beef, yay!), pastured eggs, locally grown and produced food (organic as we can afford it), probiotic and fermented foods as well as properly prepared foods to obtain the best nutrition out of them. If I find I am not losing weight, I will drop the starchy foods. I don't want to go too dramatic all at once, especially since we're going away for the weekend and my options may be limited eating out.

I am having a real problem with addiction to industrial produced foods and bad carbs. We bought bags of cookies and I couldn't walk by without grabbing a couple, many times through the day. I can plow through a bag of chips. Even with my homemade goodies, I was eating several sandwiches a day on my good homemade bread as snacks. While I'm not gaining weight, I am becoming bloated and uncomfortable.

So as I make another earnest effort, here is what I am eating today:

Breakfast: 4 pastured pullet eggs (these are small; they weighed about 150g when I cracked them out of their shells), cooked in butter and served with a pat of butter on top as well as sea salt and organic pepper, 1/2 cup sauerkraut.

Lunch: Taco salad (3.5oz grass fed beef with homemade taco seasoning, served on salad greens and 1oz grated Monterey Jack cheese and a big dollop of sour cream)

Supper: Edit: I posted our supper here: http://food-simplicity.blogspot.com/2010/10/100th-post.html Maple Pepper pork and buttercup squash custard

Snacks: 1 oz cheese, 2 squares of 85% dark chocolate, tbsp mayo, 2 turkey "drummies (the drumstick part of the wing baked with curry powder), smelling the banana bread I'm making for the kids, lol!

I also plan to have Weigh in Monday. Since I do not want to post my weigh, I will just post what I have lost. Since this is my starting point, I have not lost yet, but I will :)

Weight Loss: 0

I'm Doing It!

I feel like a kid riding a bike again. I'm doing it, but flopping around in my efforts.

Monday I had enough. I was getting back on track. Never mind I was sick as a dog and I happened to start my period, bad combination. But I've been doing pretty good considering. I have eaten too many nuts. They are now gone so that temptation is gone. I am also recovering from one of the worst flus I've had in years. I really need to up my Vit. D and take my cod liver oil.

I am going to try hard to make this work. I need to. I am not getting any younger or thinner of my own accord. I have gained a lot of the weight back that I had lost when I was in my panic/OCD induced unable to eat frenzy. Fat and normal or thin and crazy. I'm shooting for just normal. I'm also not entirely low carb as I'm allowing some foods that are local and in season into my diet.

Food highlights of the week (so far):

A blade roast slowly cooked all day in the crockpot sitting on top of some onions and topped with Montreal steak seasoning. MMMMMMM!!!! It was soooooo good. I can't remember the last time I made a roast but it really has me yearning for a side of beef!

Farmer's market beef cooked with onions, garlic and made into a gravy with a tiny bit of cornstarch. I know that's not the low carbest but it was the yummiest! It was only $2.50 a pound with no fat but TONS of flavour (for comparison, grocery store lean is sometimes $1.99 a pound but usually $2.99/lbs but it still shrinks by half so most is going to waste. I am convinced they fill it with water to plump it up). I want more. I could envision things like the White Castle pie from Linda Sue's site or other things I can't think of at the moment because of my foggy brain. I am going to ask how much they charge for a side or quarter beef and if they offer ground beef in large quantities. I want to stock my freezer!

Cucumber Yogurt salad. This was really yummy. I simply made it by chopping up a peeled cuke, adding enough yogurt to coat and adding cut up garlic and sea salt to taste. I think next time I will whiz the garlic and yogurt and let it sit in the fridge overnight. It was cool, tangy and very good! It would be easy to play around with the spices to get different flavours.

Dry buttercup squash. Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyy! So good. Although I abhor the microwave, it is the best way to make good dry squash when your crockpot is in user. I cut it in half, scoop out the innards, place it on a plate upside down over a little water and microwave 15 minutes for a good sized half (the whole was about 4lbs). Perfecto, especially drowning in butter. It is good with something sweet added, like brown sugar, maple syrup or honey, but I didn't.

Fresh blueberries. The kids and I picked 14lbs of blueberries a couple of weeks ago, but they mostly made their way to the freezer for winter use. MIL brought us an ice cream bucket full and they were so good to munch. Some were a little bitter so I added a touch of our raw honey and yum, yum, yum (if the berries are wet, you need very little honey to sweeten). I will probably dehydrate the rest.

Free food! I love free food! Also cheap food. My father's and my IL"s gardens are abound this year so we have tons of free sting beans for the freezer. I need to do some more down today. I also have cukes I plan to make into pickles. I may try to ferment some (they are 6/$1 at the market so even if not all free, cheap!).

I really love this time of the year. It is so full of fresh local food! I am almost dreading winter and the limited options (which cost more).